My favorite part about Family Feud is Steve Harvey. He makes this face that says
“I’m so done with this shit.”
growing up is realizing that every single one of your problems is caused by you being a fucking idiot
I FUCKING HATE WHEN PEOPLE POUR KETCHUP ALL OVER THE FRENCH FRIES INSTEAD OF A DESIGNATED CORNER AND THEY OFFER ME SOME LIKE NO FUCK YOU AND YOUR TAINTED FRENCH FRIES
i think people need to start being completely forward and honest with other people. if something’s on your mind, say it. if you don’t wanna do something, don’t. if somebody is pissing you off, let them know. stop beating around the bush it’s fucking annoying.
- Lay on bed
- Wait 2 hours
- Lay becomes past tense
You’re not special for reading the great gatsby we all went to high school
Hey so if we have a mutual follow goin on, feel free to ask for my
- cellular number
- first born
you know, anything you want
I, old sport, don’t, old sport, understand, old sport, your accent, old sport
It’s funny how defensive people will get when you’re straight with them.
im gonna hire someone to stand behind me and say swag whenever i pause between words
On an iPhone “yolo” autocorrects to “tool” and I think that’s beautiful
one time i looked at something that had glitter on it and it got on my hands somehow
Politeness has become so rare that some people mistake it for flirtation.
- me: who is that
- me: what are you talking about
- me: I don't know what that is
- me: wait what
Do you ever start rubbing your eyes and then it feels really good and you can’t stop so it’s like eye masturbation
pull the lever kronk
I have bullshitted my way through almost two decades of life
if anyone ever breaks your heart just remember they are only human and you can break their body
If you play with my hair super gently ill probably fall in love with you
imagine being stuck in a room surrounded by everyone you’ve ever had sex with
imagine being stuck in a room surrounded by everyone you’ve ever thought about having sex with
#it’s raining men
#its raining men, and women, a few celestial beings, two timelords and a sociapath.
REASONS TO BE NICE TO PEOPLE:
- why the fuck do you need reasons just be nice to people omfg
- When not all the books in the series are the same height.
- When books change covers with editions so they don’t all match unless you buy the series in one go.
- When some books are hardcover and some are softcover and it doesn’t match but you can’t find another copy.
- When some covers are different in certain countries so you don’t get the main one which also happens to look better than all the other varieties.
- Basically just books.
- God damn them.
kinda weird that u can think about someone as much as u want and they have no idea
i’m sorry sir but i dont care if your son is only 3 years old. i will not get off this swing just so he can “have a nice day at the park.” welcome to the real world kid
i’d just like to point out that telling someone they’re too skinny and must “eat a burger and put some meat on those bones” is just as rude as telling someone they’re fat and must go on a diet
we need a universal hand signal for “my parents don’t know about that”